Jamie D Pope

Helium of Heartaches and Happiness

2011-07-18T07:59:00.003-04:00

As life matriculates onward I find myself frequently saying goodbye. Somewhere during the high school graduation process I felt the pains, for the first time, of necessarily letting go of people I had grown to love and cherish simply because we had reached the end of one road and life was beginning another. What I couldn’t realize then was this; throughout life the dynamics of endings,no matter the reasons,never changes.

Passages, regardless of their nature, all share this common theme; they are required for growth. We graduate from schools, change jobs, relocate, get promoted, love and leave others because God’s will for our lives dictates that we must change to grow; even if relationships remain intact, or come back together, the partners must grow or surely the union dies. Change, it’s the circle of life.

Life’s commandments never guarantee that the same circumstances or people will always remain in our lives. The key to successfully growing is through acceptance and the proper realization of change’s sure and certain nature. All doors that open eventually close; their closure is sometimes welcomed but often bitter sweet and in times of unwanted change, debilitating and gut wrenching.

Renewal from painful endings can be found in this good news; each ending brings a new beginning, even death offers release to our spiritual beings which are temporarily housed in earthly bodies. All of my past big endings led to better places of which I couldn’t have found had I stayed on my then current paths.

Eventually all of my relationship changes come full circle when I allow myself to see the God purpose for this change and accept the certainty of parting’s permanent, or temporary state. Leaving love’s, by choice or pain, has always lead to better places in my life. When I stay in the role of reluctant leaver it is impossible to see the underlying dysfunction that precipitated the painful, but necessary, parting(read need for change); eventually, if I stay in enough pain, I find the door that opens to a healthy God awareness of why this ending is part of his master plan. Acceptance of the rightness of his plan is what sets me free. Now, I believe change is required so both of us can grow into the person God needs us to be, this growth could also ignite a loving re-entwinement of our souls!

Graduating to another place in life, without a cherished partner, hurts, it hurts a lot; but God’s plan is always better than my own and the realization and acceptance of that certainty will bring a peace which is best captured by the serenity prayer.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” Amen

Amen and peace to you!

JDP
© 2011. Jamie D Pope, CFP®

Photo booth memories

2011-07-16T10:42:00.002-04:00

The other morning I was out on a run when I glanced down and, on the sidewalk, lay one of those photo booth 4 shot panels of a young man and woman; both looked so photogenic and happy as is it hard not to be beautiful when you are young!
After my first glance an old memory raced through my mind, I remember long ago looking through some old photographs with my Mother and seeing one of those same photo booth shots of her and a girlfriend from somewhere around Mother's 16th birthday. I remember well my first reaction to that picture being one of, "Wow, my Mother looked so young, " and then almost instantly realizing how happy and sweet she looked , and most importantly, loving. She told me of spending her only dime on that photo because she cared for her friend and wanted a remembrance of their time together, more so than the candy she had originally planned to buy with her meager allowance; love in action, people over things, my Mother in a nutshell.
After many years I realized one of the real blessings of my life has been to experience such a sweet, kind, loving Mother. It took a special soul like her to love a son, like me, whom she has kindly described in my rearing years as being "challenging," such an understatement. Even more understated would be if any of the various 'loves' of my life had used that same adjective to describe their time with me.
My Mother has endured many trying times in dealing with her only son, but, thank God, has always found a way to see through my weaknesses', mostly manifested from my selfish, self centered nature., A few years ago I bought one of those blank Mother's Day cards and wrote this inscription, "Mother, of all the women in my life you're the only one who's stuck with me no matter what!" She cried, in that moment I realized just how loving, but sad, those words were. Also, it lead to a personal epiphany, I had spent my adult life expecting the other women in my life to show that same type of love and devotion to me, regardless of my behavior toward them, as my own wonderful Mother had.
Somehow I thought all women had the capacity to love me, no matter what, exactly like her; no matter how I acted they would eventually forgive me, maybe scold me, but always tolerate me just as my Mother had done through far too many trying times.
As all good men, I learned to cry not from my Father, but from my Mother; what I learned most about crying was this, no matter what I could always go to her, sit beside her on the couch, put my head on her shoulder and pour my heart, and tears, out to her. Regardless of the circumstances, from crushing loses in Little League to the utter devastation after my first romantic love broke my heart, to as recently as this past Christmas when I sat on her couch crying my eyes out yet again because a wonderful woman had born way to much of the brunt of my selfish acts and justifiably pulled away from me leaving my oft broken heart crushed again.
Whenever these painful moments have arrived my loving Mother has always been patient with me and demonstrated that same sweet smile captured long ago in the dime store photo booth. One look there always reminds me that God puts wonderful loving woman in all 'hard to love' boy's lives so to heal wounds during their hours of sorrow, and to prevent the pains from building calloused heart's which would permanently scar except for the loving hearts of all Mothers, especially mine.

Thoughts musings and ravings: Etiquettext

2011-03-28T06:23:00.000-04:00

Thoughts musings and ravings: Etiquettext: "While technology has provided some tremendously positive life altering changes, it has also provided a few hiccups, faux pas and other assor..."

Thoughts musings and ravings: Playpen pigskin

2011-03-17T07:53:00.000-04:00

Thoughts musings and ravings: Playpen pigskin: "Driving along I spotted one of those coreplast boards that seemingly sprout overnight, advertising everything from 100's of T-Shirts to We b..."

Budgeting for the short-term.: 12 Money Mistakes Almost Everyone Makes - US News & World Report

2011-01-12T23:10:00.002-05:00

Securities offered through and supervised by Wilbanks
Securities Inc. Member FINRA & SIPC 4334 NW Expressway,
Ste 222 Oklahoma City, OK 73116 1-888-842-0202
Fee-based services offered through Wilbanks Securities
Advisory

This is neither a recommendation or offer to buy or sell securities, it is simply an news opinion piece.
Budgeting for the short-term.: 12 Money Mistakes Almost Everyone Makes - US News & World Report

7 Tips for Baby Boomers Turning 65 in 2011 - US News and World Report

2011-01-12T22:57:00.002-05:00

Securities offered through and supervised by Wilbanks
Securities Inc. Member FINRA & SIPC 4334 NW Expressway,
Ste 222 Oklahoma City, OK 73116 1-888-842-0202
Fee-based services offered through Wilbanks Securities
Advisory
This is neither a recommendation or offer to buy or sell securities, it is simply an news opinion piece.
7 Tips for Baby Boomers Turning 65 in 2011 - US News and World Report

Steps Women Must Take for Better Retirements - The Best Life (usnews.com)

2011-01-12T22:55:00.002-05:00

Securities offered through and supervised by Wilbanks
Securities Inc. Member FINRA & SIPC 4334 NW Expressway,
Ste 222 Oklahoma City, OK 73116 1-888-842-0202
Fee-based services offered through Wilbanks Securities
Advisory
This is neither a recommendation or offer to buy or sell securities, it is simply an news opinion piece.
Steps Women Must Take for Better Retirements - The Best Life (usnews.com)

Women In Retirement

2011-01-10T06:41:00.001-05:00

Securities offered through and supervised by Wilbanks
Securities Inc. Member FINRA & SIPC 4334 NW Expressway,
Ste 222 Oklahoma City, OK 73116 1-888-842-0202
Fee-based services offered through Wilbanks Securities
Advisory
Great primer on Women's unique needs in facing increasing longevity. Short view covering important areas of planning.

http://online.wsj.com/video/protecting-women-in-retirement/02947C44-4145-4D80-BA39-CB0D2C9787BB.html

New 2011- My Best Days are Ahead of Me!

2010-12-26T20:12:00.006-05:00

New 2011-My Best Days are Ahead of Me

New Standards: All my actions will speak Determination, Persistence, Integrity, Godliness, Generosity, Favor, Faith and Victory.

New Outlook: Daily I will meditate on thoughts such as these:
“I have everything I need to fulfill my destiny.”

“God accepts me; He approves me; I know God has good things in store for me.”

“My best days are ahead of me.”

New Scorecard: Daily Action Plan reviewed hourly, daily, weekly. I will take time every week to examine my life carefully, identifying any negative patterns that have been part of my past. I have decided that I will be the one to set a new standard: I will shake off negative mind-sets and begin living under the blessings of God rather than under the curse of my past.

New Legacies: Every day our best efforts, no judgement living, faith over fear, daily work completed, no excuse living, I will be more aware that the decisions I make today will affect future generations as well as my own life. I will be more careful and deliberated about making wise decisions. I will pray, search the Scripture for guidance, see godly advice, and take time to think before making major decisions. I will make choices based on my desire to leave my family better off than they were previously.

New Relationships: I will be a positive impact on all the relationships in my life serving instead of being served in all of my affairs.

I will help somebody else become successful and trust God to make me successful. Each week I will build up, encourage, or otherwise improve the lives of at least three people.

I will (on purpose) find somebody that I can be good to today. I will attempt to make somebody’s day. I will look for ways to be a blessing, especially to someone who can not repay me.

I will be determined to keep strife out of my home. I will remind myself regularly:

“I am a peacemaker, not a troublemaker.”

“I will overlook minor matters and I will forgive quickly.”

“I choose to see the best in other people.”

“I appreciate my significant other, my family members regardless of how they came to me, my friends, and my coworkers.”

Today I will make relational deposits in the lives of people around me. I will give compliments freely and seek to make every person I meet feel important.

Securities offered through and supervised by Wilbanks
Securities Inc. Member FINRA & SIPC 4334 NW Expressway,
Ste 222 Oklahoma City, OK 73116 1-888-842-0202
Fee-based services offered through Wilbanks Securities
Advisory

Thoughts musings and ravings: Don't take the free ride in your own life

2010-12-04T13:55:00.000-05:00

Thoughts musings and ravings: Don't take the free ride in your own life: "Its dark outside as the alarm goes off at 6:00 a.m. I climb out from inside my warm cocoon of comforter and bedspread and check the tempera..."

5 Things I Can Do Daily For the People I Love

2010-11-25T19:41:00.004-05:00

5 Things I Can Do Daily For the People I Love

Be Positive: Every day in every way the people I love need me to be a leader in every aspect of life. The last thing they wants is a negative, defeatist leader. Yes, bad things happen but as Zig says “You can do everything better with positive thinking than you can with negative thinking.” Act positive, be positive the people I love will feel better about themselves and what they are doing far more than they would with Debbie Downer in charge.
Be Trustworthy: Without trust there is no basis for any type of relationship. Trust is built over time but can be destroyed in an instance. Each day I build that needed trust with my loved ones mostly by all of the little things that I do. The best way to build trust is to be trustworthy yourself.
Be Consistent: We are seen as trustworthy when we continuously do the things we say we are going to do when we say we are going to do them. Doing them when they are to be done is consistency. Most of life is about getting through the grind. If trust is a must then consistency, getting through the grind, is the keystone of the trust temple.
Be Fearless: Everyone has fears, no one will follow for long a fearful person. The people we love need for us to put our personal fears aside and do the things that are fearful for us in order to follow through with our commitments. We are measured by our actions not our intentions. Most worthwhile actions require, on a regular basis, overcoming some form of fear. When we overcome fears and get into action we do what we said we would do and are judged as trustworthy; someone worthy of following by being one who demonstrates love through their actions!
Be Spiritual: The people we love need godly, spiritual people leading in their lives, especially from the special folks they love the most. Life is tough, faith and belief in a greater being sustain most people through the downs and remind them of what’s important during the ups. If I am a spiritual person demonstrating the power of belief and guidance from a god of my understanding then it is easier for the ones I love to do the same. Love is mostly about leadership, spiritual leadership on a daily basis is the greatest contribution I can make toward those I love.

Jamie Pope, CFP(R)

Body.Mind.Spirit.

5 Qualities of Leadership

2010-11-18T07:02:00.010-05:00

5 Qualities of Leadership

1. Leaders must have a vision: Taking others in a direction they desire to go requires that there first be a direction in which to go. Leaders must articulate clearly defined directions, based on their own strong personal values, which inspire and persuade others that what you see as a leader is somewhere that the led themselves want to go.

2. Leaders must communicate the vision: Even if the path is not clear, the leader must see the correct direction then paint a picture of that place in the minds eye of those that would follow. Carrying others into the future, with their goals or most urgent needs met, is the critical quality that all seek in leaders. We need leaders to first show us the way in our minds.

3. Leaders must be the vision: First, you must be before you can do. Others only follow those that practice what they preach. No one will follow, at least not for long, someone who says one thing then does another. Everything about the area that we lead must be embodied in consistent, reliable and repeatable actions, first, and then continually, demonstrated by their leader.

4. Leaders must teach the vision: Give a man a fish and feed him for a day, teach him to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Only that which is repeatable and teachable can be qualities, directions or goals worthy of following. If others can’t learn to do these things themselves then you are not a leader but a nanny. The ability to have others buy into what you see, then take the necessary steps to do them, is accomplished through teaching skills or techniques which they believe are valuable. How you fare as a teacher will determine how long you last as a leader.

5. Leaders must serve the fellow travelers: It may seem trite but it is true, no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Others must know that you have their best interest at heart or resistance to the direction you want to take them will be fraught with misgivings and second guessing. Character and the ability to demonstrate caring by willingness to give unselfishly of yourself will say more about your caring than any speech or blog, serve first then be served.

2010-07-28T15:37:00.002-04:00

Picked up a dime lying on the floor once I realized it was more than I would earn by investing a dollar in a 5 yr govt bond-for the entire 5 years!

2010-07-28T15:30:00.002-04:00

One dime, in todays 0.2% percent bank interest rate world, is interest on a dollar for 50 years! Pennies count. Spend and invest wisely.